Posted by: Sam Olsen | September 16, 2011

The Chronicles of Larry 3: The New Pad.

Right, here we are. New place. Don’t see what was wrong with the old place but that’s not the point. No one asked me whether I wanted to come half way round the world so I can sweat myself silly and leave all my old (well, not exactly old, but you get the point) pals behind.

But no point moaning. We’re here in the flat, somewhere called Midlevels but it looks higher than that, I can tell you. On the twentieth floor so I hear. Thought They were joking when they told me that, but looking at Dad as he peeps over the balcony and he’s got above-18th floor fright for sure.

Moving day was fun. I wasn’t here, but playing at my Club, so of course it was. Mum and Dad say they worked hard, and I suppose directing the Chinese unpackers as they moved heavy furniture up 20 storeys can be tiring. If you’re lazy. I’m not, just sensible. Ball pits are much better places to be at times like this.

But I was here for telephone installation day. Man, that was fun. Two Chinese dudes came up, carrying tools, rope and a suitcase. Thought I was a gonner – or Dad was in for a pretty poor day – but turns out it was better than that: they had cables. I love them. Ask Mum. Especially the ones with the three bits of metal at the end. They taste good. Mum keeps hiding the metal bits in holes in the wall but I’ll get them out one day.

Anyway, back to the story. Fact is, these Chinese guys were real nice. Turns out not only did they give us a telephone but a small TV too. Touchscreen, whatever that is. Think it means I have to touch the screen, which I did. Vigorously. The Chinese guys got a new one out to replace the now broken screen. Not very good if it breaks under a tender little baby’s efforts. Told them so too, loudly. Dad was not looking pleased: happy days. “You pay for new one sir”; heard that before, especially in the china shops. 

But the best thing about the new place is my toys. What on earth were They doing hiding them for the last month? Took me into my room and there they all were. Brilliant. Even my drum is here. Well it was till Mum picked it up. She must be putting a new skin on it or something, because it’s not been around for a while. How am I meant to practice for music class without it? 

So anyway, one morning when Mum had gone to “the office” and Dad was elsewhere in the flat – seriously, what does he get up to in that bathroom? Still haven’t worked that one out – the fun really happened. All I did was get all my toys out of their box. In a big heap. Just next to the sitting room door. In a nice neat line. You should have seen Dad when he came through and didn’t see the toys. Never seen someone fly like that. He probably wouldn’t have hit his head on the opposite wall if he hadn’t been going so fast. But just because I make a high, ear destroying scream for the hell of it doesn’t mean people need to panic. At least Dad knows where the doctor lives now.

Still, we’ll be happy here. Nice smooth floors for me to practice my crawling and walking. Lots of space for my toys. And a nice new touchscreen TV every week with a nice irate Dad. What’s there not to like?

Just before I broke their TV...Nice suitcase

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