Posted by: Sam Olsen | September 22, 2011

The Chronicles of Larry 5: Enter night

It’s night-time. Dad lays me down to sleep in my cot/cage. “Say your prayers little one, and don’t forget to include everyone”. I’m not the one with the memory like a used kitchen sieve, I think, but am too sleepy to actually say it. It’s been a long day, with all the talking to strange kids at play time, and then all the destruction at home later. I really am in need of a long, long sleep.

I’m tucked in, nice and warm (despite the aircon seeming to have only one brutal setting). But the light hasn’t gone out. Oh, hang on, yes it has, it’s just I’m surrounded by chronic light pollution from the hundreds of skyscrapers that surround us. Brilliant. (Literally.) And no curtains too, just a rubbish blind that only closes half way. And They expect me to sleep in these conditions? Meanwhile Dad has left my room – I hear a pop, then a lot of glugging, a sigh and then a muffled “Yes!”, whatever that all means – so I at least try to close my eyes.

But the light is too much. Blink, blink, blink goes the tower directly opposite my window. Blonk, blonk, blonk goes another. I give it ten minutes then I do what I do best, and open my lungs. A louder cry of “No!” emanates from the other room, and Mum comes in. Ah, sweet maternal attention. She picks me up and I slowly head off to never-never land.

Warm milk…warm…fire…dragons…DRAGONS! My eyes whack open. Nothing there, phew. Just that damn blonking. I grip my pillow tight and keep one eye on the room, just in case. Music class…drums…banging…biting…THINGS THAT BITE! Not again, this is horrible. So I decide to scream again. Theydon’t appear so I turn up the volume, then start making this yell that sounds a bit like I’m being sick and partly like I’m an owl with constipation, and that does the trick.

Dad comes in looking worse than usual and picks me up. I save my loudest hoot for when his ear is close to my mouth; don’t jerk away, I say, you cry baby. “Hush, little one” he says to me, attempting to comfort. But then there’s a noise. Could be the aircon clonking, but then again… “Never mind that noise you heard. It’s not a beast under your bed or in the closet, it’s just in your head”. Great, thanks. Real nice of you. He might as well have put up a poster of the Incredible Hulk changing from mild Bruce Banner into his most hideous form, like Uncle Euan had on his wall, for all the comforting that did. But that’s just him.

Eventually I do drop off again, still with one eye open. But the blinks wake me up every hour for the rest of the night. Please someone get me some curtains! But then again, it’s pretty fun watching Mum and Dad get up all the time, looking more and more like zombies…let’s hold off those curtains for a bit longer.

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Responses

  1. I like the Metallica reference!


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