Posted by: Sam Olsen | September 29, 2011

The Chronicles of Larry 6: Ocean Park

Hong Kong can be really boring. Get up, have milk, have breakfast, sleep; get up again, go to the play room downstairs, sleep; get up yet again (why do They always wake me up?); lunch. I’m not even going to bother talking about the afternoon. You get the drift.

So They decided to do something different with me today. They took me to see some fish. Brilliant. Ocean Park you say? Why not just take me down the market? But no, I had to be dressed up and shoved in my chariot again. But I’m not to be fooled.  I can see right through Them. They say I’m “worth my weight in gold”, I’m the “centre of their world”, blah, blah, but actually I’m just an excuse for Them to do something childlike without making them look like juveniles. Like that works. They’re still…well, you understand *wink*.

We arrive at Ocean Park. We get out, They put me back in my chariot and scoot me off. Next thing I know I’m in some kind of enclosure, with plants everywhere. I thought this was an ocean park, not a triffid farm. They’re now pointing at something. It’s black, white, large, and not moving. Fantastic. “Wow, a panda!” Mum says. Wow, a boring animal, I think. Might look good on a letterhead but it needs to move more. Maybe they should make the floor hot.

But I don’t need to cut myself loose – the bore-fest is soon over. We move off, and I find myself in a darkened room. Apart from there being not much light, everything seems above-board, everything seems normal. But then I look at Dad. I swear he’s shaking. And then a shadow covers us. I look up and see a small window above. Through it I see a shark. Mum is waving at it – no, my mistake, she’s trying to attract it. Dad is backing off. Quickly. I laugh.

But better to come. Round the corner is an even bigger tank. Someone’s in it. And yep, there’s another shark. Looks like he’s feeding the fish. Either that or he’s sleeping with them and the wet suit’s just for effect. A sign says “Shark feeding experience available”. She says she now knows what to buy Dad for his next birthday. Dad says “I need to survive”. Mum raises an eyebrow. I smile. My pocket-money just found a use.  So not such a waste of a day after all.

I so wish that was Dad

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